Fear Vs. Fear of Regret: It’s All About Mindset

I want to talk about something I used to struggle with for a long time.

It would hold me back. I had this fear of not being enough. It was killing me, constantly stuck, not moving backwards or forward. I would compare myself with others, which made it even harder to put myself out there. It stopped me from doing the work I loved, and the worst part is, I was getting in my own way of being of service to the people who I knew really needed my help.

This feeling of not being good enough and lacking confidence in my ability had, for a long time, left me in a state of paralysis.

I’d been trying to fight this feeling of not being enough for so long, I would look externally for things to fulfill me, in people, in objects.

What does someone do, when life is a constant battle to show up? When you constantly crave to be more?

This fear can hold a tight grip on you, but what about the fear of not doing anything? Being this way forever? Surely that’s got to shake you up!

It’s important to know there are basically two types of fear:

1. The fear of showing up
2. The fear of regret

It’s also important to understand that most people choose the fear of regret because it’s the easier option.

But the fear of regret is the most painful form as there’s nothing you can do to make it disappear. It takes a lot of patience, strength and endurance to face the fear of showing up and backing yourself. It’s a lot better than having the lifelong regret of playing small.

Here are a few things you can do to help you walk this path confidently…

Start With Healing

The truth is, we didn’t learn to believe or feel this way overnight. We have conditioned ourselves over a long period of time. Therefore, it’s going to be a work in progress of continuous improvement.

Start by working on healing the inner layers. It’s a good idea to find a healing method that suits you and make it your new ritual on a weekly basis.

It can be things like 15 minutes of meditation, doing quick sprouts of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), giving time to you, connecting with your inner self, and most importantly being true to you. Write down what you value in your new way of being and how you can experience it daily.

When you’re not sustaining your needs in an obtainable or resourceful way, the fear and negative talk come back after a while, showing up in unresourceful behaviour. You’ll find yourself watching hours of TV, not taking care of your needs, self-sabotaging, and creating drama and problems. Instead, do things that can lift and support you towards living your most authentic and best version of you.

Reframe Old Beliefs

Try healing yourself from the inside. Identify where and when the feeling of not feeling enough started. The possibility is, you learnt this feeling at a young age, generally during your imprinting years of age 0 to 7. We use what we were told, or how we dealt with the situation back then as a safety mechanism, which continues to play out in our adult life.

For instance, if you were laughed at in the classroom, you could have made that experience mean “I shouldn’t voice my opinions because no one takes me seriously” and therefore the need to belong is unfulfilled, which plays throughout our life.

Try reframing that old belief to mean something else, which can help you find a meaningful lesson you can learn from that experience and prevent it from holding you back as an adult. If you find it difficult, seek the help of a professional.

Fill With Resourcefulness

We all have core needs and we all have adequate resources within us to fill our heart, mind, soul and emotional desires. You can fill these with resourceful things like:

• Supporting yourself
• Committing to the results
• Certainty of self
• Playfulness
• Adventure
• Reframing
• Hobbies
• Challenges
• Leading yourself and others
• Volunteering
• Speaking up
• Sharing
• Supporting
• Connecting self-worth
• Surrounding yourself with people who lift your vibration
• Working on activities that will help you progress

Take a SWOT Analysis of Your Life

Take a SWOT analysis of your life to see what needs to change.

Perhaps it’s your focus? Identify what you’re spending most of your energy on in the medium of thoughts, emotions, and behaviour.

Maybe it’s your environment? Spend more of your day in a place you actually feel good where you can see things clearly, be more productive, and feel more connected with yourself.

My Life SWOT Analysis

To help you, I’ve created this “My Life SWOT Analysis” worksheet for you to download and print out. Trust me it will be an eye opener. When completing it, be honest with yourself and dream big.

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Free Mindset Social Media Images

To help you help others with the fear of feeling not enough or fear of regret, here’s a free Mindset Bundle with 5 social media images that Healthinomics have created, which include different snippets from this blog post about mindset and fear vs. fear of regret.

Simply download the free Mindset Bundle below and share the images with your followers on social media!

Lastly…

Remember: the sky is the limit, spread your passion far and wide, and change lives 😉

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